How do I create a blank Excel spreadsheet?

So today I got the first support call from the Silver Fox for this year, and boy what a corker!

Apparently, he had been trying to create a blank Excel Spreadsheet for the past 2 days and had resorted on opening an old one, deleting all the sheets and then saving it as a blank!

I asked him why he hadn’t called me after 30 seconds of not doing it? He said it was late and didn’t want to call. Fine, I said, but you could of emailed so I picked it up in the morning.
Anyway, I remoted on and set about showing him how to create a blank Excel Spreadsheet.

First and easiest way, Click Start > Microsoft Excel 2010 and errrr there we go!
Or right click in a folder and select New > Microsoft Excel Worksheet and there you have a blank sheet.
However, when I clicked Start > Microsoft Excel 2010 he said to me
“Wo Hold on there a second, where did that Microsoft Excel 2010 shortcut come from? It wasn’t there 2 days ago”

After explaining that he is the only one using his computer, either it was there and he didn’t see it or he put it there without remembering, I was extremely rude and hung up on the old duffer 😀

I see faces

A conversation with the silver fox today, quiet a strange one, left me thinking that he might need to get his medication looked at.

It started off with him borrowing a wet tile cutter from PBM earlier in the day. He neglected to make sure that there was a blade in the machine to cut the tiles! Not a good start.

Then he set about cutting some tiles to put in to his new walk in bathroom. Upon cutting the first tile he noticed that when it got wet there was a mark resembling a face on the tile?! WTF is he taking the piss?

Not being content with that unusual unique design, he put all the tiles back in his car and took them back to the shop, stating to the customer services rep that he could see faces! The rep must have taken pity on him and seen that something wasn’t right, and said he could change them all. The Silver Fox did say that he didn’t want the tiles in case there were more `faces looking at him`.

I wasted no time at all in informing the Kent connection of the situation, who came up with what I can only describe as a to the point and factual observation of the event
“What a knob head”
I don’t think that either of us had laughed so much, I thought he was going to choke and die!

In all fairness, I think I need to put across The Silver Fox’s point here, if that is at all possible, so I have tried to replicate, to the best of my knowledge and ability, the faces he said he could see in the tiles!? I will update this entry when I have managed to get such detail.